The Northman: Spoiler Free Review

Here is my spolier free review for The Northman. The new Robert Eggers film, The Northman, is now in theaters. The northman has a star studded cast featuring Alexander Skarsgård, Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke, Anya Taylor-Joy and Willem Dafoe. On the surface, the northman is a simple Viking revenge film. While it is that, it is also so much more. To be clear, this review will be spoiler free. Let’s get into it.

I watched this movie last night. Afterwards, I was utterly exhausted. For such a fairly simple premise their is simultaneously nothing going on and too much going on. This may sound like a negative but I mean it as the highest of praise. One of my favorite things in the world is things that should not exist. Let me be clear. This movie should not exist. Yet I am so glad that it does. Robert Eggers is not for everyone. He is not a mainstream director. With all this in mind, this movie somehow had a mainstream budget. It’s baffling in the best possible ways. My theater experience was especially interesting and supports these thoughts. Multiple people left halfway through, including the man who was sitting to my left. People were laughing during scenes that were not meant to be comedic. When the final scene concluded, I heard numerous people groan, laugh and even a spattering of sarcastic applause. It was fascinating.

I think a lot of people will go into this movie thinking they are getting a big screen version of the show Vikings. They think they are about to see a sweet as viking rip things up for two hours. To be fair, that absolutely happens but somehow, simultaneously doesn’t. There is so much more going on in this movie. It’s dense and frenetic but also slow and plodding. The Northman is beautiful and horrific to watch. The shots and blocking and choices are truly masterful.

I believe your enjoyment of this film comes down to one simple thing. You are either onboard with what Eggers is doing or you’re not. It’s that simple. I was personally all in from the start and thoroughly enjoyed it. This movie is going to stick with me for a while. I would recommend everyone see this but know many will not enjoy it. It’s very weird. Just go in with an open mind and let it happen to you. That’s the best advice I can give.


Written by Josh Hansen